I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
i dont even know how to be here
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize