Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
You were trust falling into bushes
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
