i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
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