Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
