sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
