Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
i believe in u and ur pee
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
