Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
