NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
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