somebody snuck up and got me drunk
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
