I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
