he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
