when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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