CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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