wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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