yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
