it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Randomize
