I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
