ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
