She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
