Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
