I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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