hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I still have a little drunk in my system
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
