You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Randomize
