Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
