what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
We had sex on a dog bed..
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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