please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
as a side note pls kill me
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
