Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
