No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
It's shark week go big or go home
I can't trust your balls anymore.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
