Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
