sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
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