She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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