if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Randomize
