I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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