i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
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