i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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