I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
We are two peas in an std pod
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Randomize
