my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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