Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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