I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
