So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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