i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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