I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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