did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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