i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
