I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
The uberlube is also flammable
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize