whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
nutella sex= disaster
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
