if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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