I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
