when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
