It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I need moral support for this bender
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
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