Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They have beer where we have blood.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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