Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
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