She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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