Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
