He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
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