is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
