So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
