I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Found your dick twin last night
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
