btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
