they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
