omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
sarcasm needs its own font
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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